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About this blog: The Raucous Caucus shares the southpaw perspectives of this Boomer on the state of the nation, the world, and, sometimes, other stuff. I enjoy crafting it to keep current, and occasionally to rant on some issue I care about deeply...  (More)

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2012: The Year in Verse

Uploaded: Jan 3, 2013
-- with apologies all around.

'Tis more or less New Year's, and all 'round the 'Ville,
You will now be subjected to bad dogger-el.
The year just completed we'll stumble on through,
and add some predictions for 2-13, too.

The year began well, with the end of one war,
That left us to guess what the other one's for.

The GOP started a long conversation,
'Bout which of their folks would soon faze the nation.
I-O-wa was coated with Santorum frost,
That soon was replaced with the pizzaman's sauce.
His sexual antics and Newt's cost them traction,
What is it 'bout pols that makes them crave action? *
Then straight outta Texas Rick Perry would show,
He'd kill his chance faster than a man on death row.

Finally, at the end of his long five-year mission,
Mitt Romney sent the rest of them boys on home fishin'.
Once champion of choice and of health care for all,
He now answered the "severest conservative" call.
Mitt's makeover worked, though he bore several scars,
And he once strapped his dog to the roof of his car.
Mitt took off for England, hoped to visit its Queen,
But to get him home safe, we had to send-in Marines. +

While, back in the west, there arose quite a clatter,
Of many a pitch, baffling many a batter.
In a near-empty ballpark, our Athletics dear.
Led by Cool Hand Bob Melvin, forgot 12's not their year.
They scrambled, and hustled and pied with abandon.
None was a star; about half were named Brandon.
On, Coco! Now, Reddick! Yoennis, and Inge!
Milone, Jarrod, AJ all pitched on a binge.
They topped Angels and Rangers, and near beat them all!
And practically made fans forget Moneyball!"
Meantime, on the other side o' the Bay,
The Giants did -- something -- don't recall it; can't say.

In business, Jobs dominated th'economy,
Some slow to return -- one, we'll not again see.
Banksters and crooks all earned their share of ink,
Money-laund'ring, rate-rigging and insiders link,
Though fines in the $Billions may seem quite sensational
They're really 'just business;' we need jail terms durational.

Our Hot Mama's Nature would not be denied,
She let loose tornados, and droughts and high tides.
Then in October, when the Jersey shore left,
Prez and Guv were sudden, Mutt-n-Jeff, BFFs.
After she's wrought all this sad misery,
Does anyone still think: Conspiracy?

The campaigns began; Mitt could not avoid goofs.
'47 percent' joined the dog on the roof.
But that first debate saw the President crater,
And made ol' Clint look like a prognosticator
From there to the wire the polls made it tight
Only baseball's Nate Silver got the numbers quite right.
Forged as he was in a crucible's fire --
Only hardball debates exceed politics' ire.

And on to December, the kids' month so magic,
Then suddenly, fatefully, finally tragic.
When will the burden, to prevent repetition,
Shift to those who claim gun rights come without conditions?

Now the New Year's upon us -- what does it portend?
Congress will deliver rancor sans end.
The 'cliff' was avoided, the dread 'ceiling' looms
If a real crisis happens, it's over -- we're doomed.
The House now has three Parties: Dems, Reps and Teas,
And the Speaker controls fewer votes than Pelosi's.
Seems all sides will give immigration a gander,
Caramba! A new bloc to which they can pander.
But Prez promised gun law, and Biden concurs,
That may set-off more duels than Hamilton-Burr.

And in Cali, the Dems' super-majori-ty,
Risks tumbling us into the fiscal red sea.
Guv. Brown must become the frugal apostate
All the while healing that balky old prostate. (so sorry -- it's late.)

So 2-Oh-1-3 looks like a bumpy ride,
At least more bad po'try you'll not have to abide,
But one last reminder, lest we forget --
Buy those Spay/Neuter plates -- and adopt your next pet! http://www.caspayplate.com/main.php

* But, but ... CLINTON! And JFK! FDR! So noted. Nixon?

+ Poetic license, but just a little.
Local Journalism.
What is it worth to you?


Posted by Tom Cushing, a resident of Danville,
on Jan 3, 2013 at 9:49 am

Tom Cushing is a registered user.

Verse -- but not verses. Curses!

Posted by Netanyahoo, a resident of Alamo,
on Jan 6, 2013 at 10:19 pm

Stupid... As usual.

Posted by Tom Cushing, a resident of Alamo,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 8:19 am

Sorry to disappoint, as usual.

Your commentary reminds of something I read recently: what would be the hardest thing about modern life to explain to a person from a hundred years ago? One man's answer: that we have this little box that can fit into our pockets, that gives us access to all the accumulated knowledge and wisdom of humankind -- and we use it mainly to watch funny videos of cats, and hurl insults at people we don't know.

Posted by Linda, a resident of Danville,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 10:03 am

The "poet" bashed the good ppl of right
While singing the praises of the devil of night-
Illegals not needed-they drain the realm coin
While adding dumb voters from their issue of loin.
Taxing the good for the waste of the bad
Is not gonna keep a gun from some lad.
Pelosi kills babies and Reid is a liar-
With Barry as prez- this family won't hire.
So stop all the sycophant socialist pushing-
That column today is typical Cushing.

Posted by Conservator, a resident of Danville,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 11:02 am

"Be that word our sign in parting, bird or fiend," I shrieked, upstarting-
"Get thee back into the tempest and the Night's Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken!-quit the bust above my door!
Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!"
Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore."

Posted by Dawn, a resident of Blackhawk,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 11:34 am

It was many and many 4 yrs ago in a town we call DC
That an ogre there lived whom you may know
By the name of Oh balm me
And this ogre he lived with no other plan
Than to tax and destroy you and me.

Posted by The Ravin', a resident of Danville,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 11:46 am

Only this -- and nothing more?

Posted by Conservator, a resident of Danville,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 2:33 pm

Ravin', you are clearly an informed soul.

"O Traveller, stay thy weary feet;
Drink of this fountain, pure and sweet;
It flows for rich and poor the same.
Then go thy way, remembering still
The wayside well beneath the hill,
The cup of water in his name."

Posted by For Conservator, a resident of Danville,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 4:13 pm

The Shanklin Spring, it flows, you say,
For rich and poor the same?
That can't be right, and I suspect,
The President's to blame!
We must buy and bottle, advertize,
Brand and stake our claim!

We'll build a fence, electrify,
Do ev'rything on my list!
Who was this Longfellow, anyway,
Some kind of Socialist??!

Posted by Conservator, a resident of Danville,
on Jan 7, 2013 at 4:33 pm

Gentleperson 'For Conservator', touché.

Seriously, well done.

Posted by Anonymous, a resident of Alamo,
on Jan 8, 2013 at 6:47 am

Per comment 3:

Emerson, Whitman, and Poe,
Longfellow, Frost and Thoreau.
'spite the brilliance above,
Dirty lim'ricks we love,
By authors whose names we don't know.

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