Premarital and Couples: Are you Kinder to Strangers than to Your Partner? | Couple's Net | Chandrama Anderson | DanvilleSanRamon.com |

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By Chandrama Anderson

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About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ...  (More)

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Premarital and Couples: Are you Kinder to Strangers than to Your Partner?

Uploaded: May 29, 2020
Is there a grain of truth to the statement "I am kinder to a stranger than I am to my partner/spouse?"

If so, consider these questions:

How did I get here?
How long has this been true?
Is this new for me, or a repeating pattern?
How did I treat my partner before?
What's my part in these exchanges?
Am I willing to be kind again?
What does being kind sound like? Look like? Feel like?
What can I do today to be kind and what do I need to do for myself to work on this?

Notice if you're thinking that if only . . . my partner were kind to me, I would be kind to him/her. You can change your own behavior, not his/hers. You only have control over yourself.

How do you feel when you are kind? How do you feel when you are unkind?

Someone once told me we can go without sex for a day, but we can't go for a day without justification!

Given that you are sheltering in place together, or having a Corona Virus "long-distance" relationship, kindness truly matters.

Take this into your own hands--today.












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