By Chandrama Anderson
E-mail Chandrama Anderson
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in ... (More)
About this blog: About this blog: I am a LMFT specializing in couples counseling and grief and have lived in Silicon Valley since 1969. I'm the president of Connect2 Marriage Counseling. I worked in high-tech at Apple, Stanford University, and in Silicon Valley for 15 years before becoming a therapist. My background in high-tech is helpful in understanding local couples' dynamics and the pressures of living here. I am a wife, mom, sister, friend, author, and lifelong advocate for causes I believe in (such as marriage equality). My parents are both deceased. My son graduated culinary school and is heading toward a degree in Sociology. I enjoy reading, hiking, water fitness, movies, 49ers and Stanford football, Giants baseball, and riding a tandem bike with my husband. I love the beach and mountains; nature is my place of restoration. In my work with couples, and in this blog, I combine knowledge from many fields to bring you my best ideas, tips, tools and skills, plus book and movie reviews, and musings to help you be your genuine self, find your own voice, and have a happy and healthy relationship. Don't be surprised to hear about brain research and business skills, self-soothing techniques from all walks of life, suggestions and experiments, and anything that lights my passion for couples. (Author and Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Calif. Lic # MFC 45204.) (Hide)
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What Happens in Vegas Stays in Vegas--NOT!
Even though there is little traveling now due to Covid, the principles here still hold.
These two quotes are from Urban Dictionary:
"It happened. It only happened there. And it happened far enough away [not to have any negative effect on the "the here and now." And anyone who wasn't there at the time need not know about it. So . . . move on. But keep the memories. ;)"
Dane Cook's intro to a recent show in Las Vegas:
"...great to be back here in Vegas . . . you know how they say 'what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas'. . . ? Well I have a new saying . . . if it happens in Vegas, and I see it . . . I'm . . . telling EVERYBODY!!"'
What a brilliant marketing campaign. I'm guessing that someone got paid very well for that one!
However, it is not true, and I have seen and heard too many stories of how it has come home, much to the harm of individuals and relationships. How would you feel if you or your partner had:
Been robbed of money and/or belongings
Gotten drunk and don't know what happened
Gotten drunk and ended up with a sex worker
Contracted a STD
I am certainly not one to tell you not to have fun or cut loose from everyday stress. I am big on self-care. I do encourage you, however, to take care of yourself and your relationship.
(If unwinding has to include a great deal of alcohol, then that's another important conversation that needs to be had.) One of the problems with alcohol is that once you've had that first drink, your ability to make good decisions is already compromised.
So if you want to go to Vegas, go together, or with friends that support your marriage (which is different than friends that support you).
Have fun in Vegas; there's a lot to do there.