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COUPLE'S NET

Union. Unity. E Pluribus Unum (Out of Many, One)

I’ve been trying to figure out what to write this week given what’s going on with the state of our nation, racism, and people’s treatment of one...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jun. 5, 2020
There are no comments yet. 15307 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Stay Together or End the Relationship? Independence or Interdependence?

Remember, it's your decision. Not your therapist's, your friends', or your family. There are so many factors to consider. Maybe the bottom line is . . . Stay...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jul. 3, 2020
There are no comments yet. 13377 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Do you Fight, Flight, or Freeze? “How did we get here?”

When you are triggered or flooded — i.e., upset or overwhelmed — do you fight, take flight, or freeze? These are the biologically wired-in options for...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jul. 10, 2020
There are no comments yet. 12816 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: “Hold Me Tight” by Dr. Sue Johnson

Sue Johnson’s Emotionally Focused Couple Therapy is closely aligned with my training in couples counseling. Sue provides a well-researched theoretical framework...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Aug. 21, 2020
There are no comments yet. 13104 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Traffic Lights for the Whole Family

In previous blogs I’ve written about traffic lights and how to make use of them (March 30, 2018). Now it’s time to use traffic lights with your family. Everyone...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Aug. 7, 2020
There are no comments yet. 13239 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: The Inter-dependent Expandable Back Scratcher

I am often asked by couples, "What does an inter-dependent relationship look like?" I tell them, and have written a blog here, about it being like...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Sep. 4, 2020
There are no comments yet. 10710 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples: Can You be Closer After Miscarriage?

How are couples’ relationships affected after miscarriage? Could it actually bring them closer? Couples relationships are often affected after a miscarriage....

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Aug. 28, 2020
There are no comments yet. 16521 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: What Does Sex Mean to You?

Sex is supposed to be a wonderful experience, creating connection between you. Right? Yet it may be filled with anxiety, uncertainty, and vulnerability. When is...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Sep. 18, 2020
There are no comments yet. 14481 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: See "Buck" for Couple's Tips

Check out the movie Buck; it's ostensibly about Buck and horses, yet it speaks to the way people handle themselves and one another. There's a scene in which Buck...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Sep. 25, 2020
There are no comments yet. 12116 Views

COUPLE'S NET

As a Couples Counselor, What is Your Professional Opinion of “Hope Springs?”

I realize that Tommy Lee Jones has been in a lot of movies. I see many movies with my teenage son, and so when I saw Meryl Streep with Tommy Lee Jones, all I could...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 9, 2020
There are no comments yet. 13534 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital & Couples: The Blame Game: In Which No One Wins

Is the blame game a desperate move not to be "wrong," or to get in the last word, or is it an attempt to make sure your point gets across? Do any of those...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 15, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11474 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: I’m not getting what I need. How can I get him/her to change?

Let me ask you a question first. What are you doing to make your relationship better? I am no longer surprised when I ask this question to my new couples,...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 23, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11413 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Oh, that (thought, feeling, behavior) again

What's the one thing you say to yourself or to your partner that is consistently not useful? For example, complaining, criticizing, sarcasm, escalating, withholding...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Oct. 30, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11439 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: What's Your Story?

If you are like many couples, you may think and act as if your partner learned and experienced life exactly as you did. And therefore s/he should react in the "right,"...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Nov. 6, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11852 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: "Self-Made Man" by Norah Vincent

This is an interesting read for couples. It was an uncomfortable read for me as a woman at times, and yet I am not surprised based on my own experience with men...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Nov. 13, 2020
There are no comments yet. 14145 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: Giving Thanks

Thanksgiving is a holiday that I like personally, and as a therapist. A gratitude practice year-round is a great tool for your relationship. The focus on what...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Nov. 20, 2020
There are no comments yet. 11100 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Premarital and Couples: "Enchantment" by Guy Kawasaki

I had the pleasure of working with and being enchanted by Guy when I was Director of Online Services at the Stanford Alumni Association (SAA). Guy was on SAA's Board...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Jan. 8, 2021
There are no comments yet. 10742 Views

COUPLE'S NET

Couples and Premarital: How Do You Define Love?

Here's a definition of love by Anne Isaacs and Joel Isaacs that I find resonate and helpful. What do you think of it? If you think, feel or see that it makes sense...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on Feb. 26, 2021
There are no comments yet. 10724 Views

COUPLE'S NET

"How Can We Be Happy Again?" Part 2

Today I am going to answer Help's question of "How Can We Be Happy Again?" by talking about our ability to calm and soothe ourselves and each other, and have loving,...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on May. 7, 2021
There are no comments yet. 8007 Views

COUPLE'S NET

. . . Loved in Spite of Ourselves

"The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved; loved for ourselves, or rather, loved in spite of ourselves." -- Victor Hugo While...

Original post made by Chandrama Anderson on May. 21, 2021
There are no comments yet. 10292 Views
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