— with apologies to Paul Simon; he deserves better

The problem’s all over my inbox, it seems to me

I’m being deluged with funding crap from DNC

I’d like to assist them to oppose the GOP

But they’ve found fifty ways to craze their donors.

They claim it’s really not their habit to intrude

But they’d do better if they left a decent email interlude

So I’ll repeat myself, even if the Prez is being sued

They’ve figured fifty ways to craze their donors

Fifty ways to craze their donors

[CHORUS:]

Don’t wanna meet Barack, Jack

Or give you more dough, Joe

You know I don’t like the Kochs, folks

But you must leave me be!

Already know there’s a need, Reid

You don’t make me feel guil-tee

So call-off the First La-dy

And just quit dunning me

They say the Republicans are making Senate gains

They wish there was something they could do, to make me give again

But I don’t appreciate that

So would you please refrain

From sending fifty ways?

I know they use expertise to hone the plea just right

And they believe, in repetition, I will finally see the light

And so they spam me — they don’t realize my wallet’s closed up tight

Because of fifty ways to craze their donors

Fifty ways to craze their donors.

[CHORUS]

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