Caution! Parents leaving teens home alone may be inviting trouble.
Last year, Danville police began posting a bulletin in publications with cautionary tips about how to stop teenagers from partying, said Sgt. Ron Bradley, who recently left the Danville Police Department. Teenagers partying on their own may create liability, causing harm to others, attracting drugs and alcohol, and ruining property, Bradley.
Of course, when parents leave for a weekend or longer it can be fine, with the teen tending the house and pets. But, police warn, there are occasions when visitors can become hard for a teen to handle.
Though not all parties wind up outrageously out of control, there are occasions when they grow too large for the young and inexperienced to handle, police said. Teens on cell phones can spread a “party bulletin” quickly and a crowd can gather in a matter of minutes. In some cases, parties can turn into mayhem.
Early in January of this year, a 20-year-old local resident befriended and manipulated a 17-year-old boy into hosting a party at his parents’ home on Blackhawk Road, police said. Youths destroyed approximately $100,000 worth of property at the boy’s party.
Six watches, a laptop computer, an iPod, a golf cart and much more were stolen from the home, Bradley said. The District Attorney has the case, and police were waiting for the court date.
Bradley said there might have been more teenagers than the one taking advantage of the teenage host, and the suspects were all blaming each other when they were questioned.
“We hope for a successful prosecution and that appropriate punishment would be dealt out,” he said.
Bradley discourages parents from leaving their children alone while they are away. He also said parents need to raise their kids in such a way that it will prevent them from misbehaving. Folks need to be involved with their children’s upbringing and establish a relationship based on trust, he said.
“Trust is something that has to be earned,” said Bradley, who has a daughter in her 20s and a son in middle school. “You have to be involved in your child’s life.”
And if parents decide to leave their homes for an extended period of time, they should tell their neighbors about their trip or have an adult supervise their teen when they are gone. Additionally, Bradley suggested notifying the police.
Also, teens should not tell their peers they are home alone. If other kids know, they may tell others, creating a possible snowball of rambunctious teens visiting.
“They let too many people know that they are home alone,” Bradley said. “It gets people talking. That should remain confidential.”
Moreover, if parents and children are at a party together, they should not serve alcohol. Bradley recalled several years ago while on duty seeing a mother sitting drunk at a party when her child was present.
“You gotta be flipping kidding me,” Bradley said about the incident. “How irresponsible is that?”
“Being a parent is not about being popular,” he added.
But teenagers getting out of control when parents are gone is nothing new.
Seven years ago, Bradley said, a 16-year-old girl hosted a house party in the Danville area when her mother was out of town, and around 70 kids from Monte Vista and California high schools trashed her home.
When her party got out of control, she called the police.
Soon after, Bradley arrived at the scene and saw plants taken out and a ceramic doll smashed on the ground.
Youths stole an autographed picture of Michael Jordan, and they scribbled with makeup and cosmetics all over the bathroom. They also smeared beer on the carpet.
“They thrashed this house,” Bradley said. “A lot of it was spiteful.” The graffiti included: “We raided your house, bitch.”
“The disrespect to the house was unbelievable,” Bradley added. “This is the risk you take when you host a party.”
Alan Vance, a 2006 Monte Vista High graduate, said partying occurs more often in the school year than in the summer although in early summer people celebrate the school year ending.
“People get really messed up, and they don’t know when to stop,” he said. “They go overboard. A lot of people don’t know when to stop drinking.”
Vance said many partygoers feel the can have a few drinks and be fine after four hours. Sometimes, they drive home drunk, he said.
Additionally, they smoke marijuana and drink, too.
“It’s called cross fading,” Vance said. “You’re high and you get drunk at the same time.”
Bradley said peer pressure influences young partiers to misbehave and get out of control.
“They have a desire to be liked and popular,” he said. “Everyone wants to be accepted.”
Lori Low, professor of school counseling at the University of San Diego and a parent, said there is an attitude with teenagers that being bigger and worse is better.
“There seems to be a real sort of challenge for kids to out-do one another,” she said. “It brings you a certain social status.”
“I think it comes from media and pop culture,” she added. “A lot of it is technology driven. Our children are growing with an immediate access to anything.”
She also noted that parents are overly involved with the kids’ activities and their children are part of a “helicopter generation.”
“Parents literally come in and swoop down to solve the issues of their children, leaving the children without skills,” she said. “A lot of these kids don’t work. They have an attitude that they are owed.”
But Vance feels it’s a combination of factors.
“I think it’s a mixture,” he said. “They have nothing to do. Yeah, it’s fun. They also feel like they are acting like adults when they drink. They feel they are being mature when they do but, in fact, they are not.”
Bradley said kids don’t understand that they are mortal.
“Kids don’t understand,” he said. “How do kids learn that sooner than we did?”
“Parents have to keep their eyes truly open,” he added.
Going away?
The Danville Police Department provides the following tips about leaving teens home alone:
* Inform friends or neighbors of your travel plans and the responsibility you have entrusted to your child; this is one of the best defenses.
* Encourage your children to call for police assistance in controlling or calming any situation that has grown too large for them to handle.
* Have adult supervision at the house.
* Take your children with you on your vacation.
Danville Drinking Laws
Danville Municipal Code: Consumption of Alcoholic Beverages by Juveniles on Private Property
a) It shall be unlawful for any person in ownership, possession or control of any private residence, property, place or premises to permit, allow, suffer, or host at such residence, property, place or premises, any gathering of five or more persons under the age of twenty-one (21) years where alcoholic beverages are in the possession of, or are being consumed by any person under the age of twenty-one (years).
b) It shall be unlawful for any person under the age of twenty-one (21) years to consume any alcoholic beverages at any gathering described in paragraph “a.”
c) Violation of this subsection is an infraction and shall be punishable to the maximum extent allowed by State law. In the discretion of the City Attorney, violations of this section may be charged as a misdemeanor and shall be punishable to the maximum extent allowed by State law. If the violator is under eighteen (18) years of age, they shall be issued a citation to appear with a parent or a guardian at the Danville Juvenile Diversion Program.
In California, it is illegal for anyone under the age of 21 to purchase or consume alcoholic beverages.
