What helps you feel better as you grow older? No, not prunes. Donning a red hat and a purple outfit and getting together with friends. This is the creed of the Red Hat Society, a group for women over 50 who believe fun should be shared; beneath the silliness lies real affection for fellow members.
A woman named Sue Ellen Cooper founded the group in Fullerton in 1998. One day she bought a bright red fedora at a thrift shop just because she liked it and because it was cheap. A year or so later she came across the poem, “Warning,” by Jenny Joseph that begins, “When I am an old woman I shall wear purple, with a red hat which doesn’t go,” and immediately identified with it. She gave her red hat and a copy of the poem to a friend on her birthday, who enjoyed it so much that Sue Ellen repeated the gift for another friend, and another. Soon, she realized, they had a “society.”
One of the Danville chapters of the Red Hat Society is called the Red Hot Flashers. The members won an award for their appearance in the Fourth of July Parade, which sent me to the Internet to find out more. I learned that Danville has eight chapters and they are all full! Carolyn Strauch, 65, who has lived in Danville for 28 years, is “queen” of the Red Hot Flashers. She started her chapter in September 2004, put a notice on the Web site, and within two weeks 30 members had signed up.
“It’s nice to meet new people,” Carolyn told me. “My husband has passed away, it’s almost three years now, and I wanted to meet other people in the same predicament – widows, divorcees.” Other members are married but like to get out with women friends, too. “If you don’t like to go out to dinner or the movies by yourself, out of 30 you can always find someone who will go with you,” Carolyn said. In March, she hosted a martini pajama party. “They had to be red or purple pajamas, and about 10 spent the night.”
“We do all sorts of things,” Carolyn said. Once a month they get together as a group. They go to lunch, to dinner, to plays. They recently went to the Culinary Institute in San Francisco for lunch. In August they are having a swim party, and to celebrate their two-year anniversary in September they are having a Casino Night at someone’s house, with their husbands and significant others running the tables. In October they will go on a yacht in the Delta for a Make-A-Wish fundraiser. For their one-year anniversary they went to the White Crane Winery in Livermore and stomped grapes. At Christmastime, rather than exchange gifts they all chipped in $10 or more to give a donation to the Blue Star Moms.
The Red Hot Flashers range in age from 48 to 85. The 48-year-old has to wear a pink hat until she turns 50, and it’s her job to fan the older women with a special red fan if they get a hot flash. The 85-year-old took part in the belly dancing when some of them enjoyed a dinner at El Morocco. Carolyn said they come from all walks of life – retired and working teachers, nurses, Realtors. One is a former Teamster, who drove cement trucks.
In March, eight of them are going on a 23-day cruise that begins in Chile, then goes to Peru, Costa Rica and the Mexican Riviera. “We’re going to take red hats and purple outfits to wear one night,” Carolyn said. During their birthday month, members reverse the order, wearing a purple hat and a red outfit. “People you’ve never met before say, ‘Happy Birthday,'” Carolyn commented. Wherever red hatters go, they have friends. There are thousands of chapters across the country and in 30 other countries, including Egypt and Japan, but Fullerton remains the “Hatquarters.” Some members contact groups in other countries to get together while they are traveling.
Keep your eyes open for the gals in the red hats. Carolyn said at the Fourth of July Parade reviewing stand a man called out, “Can I join?” One woman yelled, “No!” while six others shouted, “Yes!”
“Maybe that’s why we won,” said Carolyn. “If you join this group, you’re not a shrinking violet.”
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