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When I heard longtime East Bay Athletic League basketball coach Hans de Lannoy passed away last week from a long battle with cancer, I quickly went to social media for posts praising the iconic coach and mentor.
To try to cull one word from all the comments would be almost impossible.
“Iconic”, “mentor”, “leader”, “coach”, “teacher” and “educator” are a few, and the list goes on.
Multiple words but I think one word stands out to best define de Lannoy. It’s a simple word but it says so much, and in the full context of the word, capsulizes and defines de Lannoy perfectly:
Friend.
And for a bit of inside story to those of us who spent a lot of time around de Lannoy over the years, “there’s no doubt about that,” that de Lannoy was a friend first to everyone who crossed his path.
Above all else when it comes to defining de Lannoy as to what he was and meant to so many was — a friend.
He was one of those coaches when we went to cover a game, you showed up before the JV game to spend a half shooting the breeze with de Lannoy.
He wasn’t a run-of-the-mill type friend that you would be happy to see every so often, but in this case, five minutes after running into de Lannoy, your life was better, fuller.
With those types of friends, it’s never about them, it’s about you. They want to know how you are doing, how your life is, and what’s going on.
And it’s legitimate. He cared. He really cared about what you were up to, and most amazing to me — it was like he had just seen you, even if it had been two or three months since your last visit.
That’s who de Lannoy was and how he operated. Even fighting cancer as long as he did, he would always answer my questions about his health but then would turn the conversation as to how my kids were doing or look back at one of the many great games I covered that he was a part of.
It was never about him when it would have been so easy to keep the conversation going.
He had a gift — a gift the great ones have. I will call it “sincere engagement”.
Along with fellow sportswriter and longtime friend Mitch Stephens, de Lannoy is at the top of the list along with Mitch in that respect.
The two were very close, and it’s why Mitch’s memories of de Lannoy have been so special to read the last week.
When we are talking with them, you get the feeling they are sincere about wanting to know all about your life. Whether or not they actually cared (I believe they do) isn’t the point, but rather when you walked away from the conversation, you believed it.
My biggest regret over the last year was that I had missed out a couple of times when I could have had lunch with the two of them, along with another local coach.
I missed both and now I will never get the chance to do it again. It hurts because there have been other lunches and those memories I cherish.
I think in large part I missed those lunches because Hans had the stature that you felt he would always be there. Couldn’t make this one? I’ll catch the next one.
Hey Mitch and Steve, let’s catch up soon. I don’t want to miss out on any more of these.
The more I think about it right in this instance — de Lannoy always will be around. I know it’s only been a week, but I know those around Hans will tell you he’s still there, still exerting the presence he’s always had.
RIP Hans, words could never explain what you meant to so many. Rest assured, your memories and advice you have bestowed upon so many will be carried with us every day.
Editor’s note: Dennis Miller is a contributing sports writer for the Pleasanton Weekly. This column originally appeared in Tri-Valley Preps Playbook, a weekly sports e-newsletter published by Embarcadero Media Foundation.
